Faith Bogdan

Live Well. Loved by God

Parenthood

Post-Conference Reflections of a “Famous” Speaker

March 25, 2014

It’s a Saturday afternoon and I’m standing before an overcrowded room of sleepy moms at nap time. Before I launch into my outline, I give them permission to fall asleep, on the condition they don’t judge me if I slump over the podium in a mid-speech slumber.

A conference for moms–that paradox of exhaustion and elation over knowing we’re not alone.  

After my talk they clear the room, except for one mom. She takes a seat on the front row, locks watery-red eyes on mine and snivels, “Where can I get that poem?” There is a desperation in her voice.

I feel a pang of rebuke. An ache of conviction. It happens every time I share it–they ask and I still have nothing to send home with them. I have been harboring these two fish and five loaves for ten years too long.

God forgive us who bury our talents. I have not been a good steward of the words I’ve written.

A prod from Heaven to finally publish Mommy’s in Time Out was one of many gifts I received at Raising Generations Today. Another, more precious gift was a young lady named Kayla Love. I saw her across the banquet hall and something sprang up in my heart–hope, the theme of the conference. I found her after the evening session and within minutes realized this girl who, like my Sarah Hope, has read more classics than I will ever attempt, sits in corners creating characters while others chatter about lighter things, muses and dreams endlessly… this girl was sent by God for my Sarah. 

I called home and Hubby delivered Kayla’s clone to me like a valiant knight. They met and bonded instantly. And hope flooded me once again.

Sometimes a mom needs to see her child afresh in the face of another child.

I spent the most beautiful night and day with my daughter, reveling in who she is, that diamond of a person I too often fail to recognize behind the personality that is so much like my own–given to distraction and whimsy. I will never forget her sleeping next to me in that room away from home. I wished time would freeze. The conference may have been encouraging for others, but for my daughter it was quite possibly a life saver. Any more words would be a pitiful attempt at expressing my gratitude to the team that worked tirelessly to create the RGT conference.

When Sarah arrived, I filled her in on the events: “It’s really funny. Some of them think I’m famous!” We laughed. I am as famous as a titmouse.

The rules of good blogging do not allow space to recount all the ways I was blessed at the conference last weekend. But for those who missed it and are interested, I’ll close with the outline I used for “The Early Years” workshop. I am still in awe at the response, and how God used feeble words to feed hungry souls.

 Four Things I am Not, and One Thing I Am

1. I am not my past

I am not defined by how I was parented or what was said or done to me growing up. (Traci –Kayla’s mom–said it best during her talk. I love that chicky!)

2.  I am not an online persona.  

Instagrams, tweets and Facebook posts are a potential danger that cause us to compare ourselves with other moms and think deadly thoughts, like “What is wrong with me that I can’t do and be all that?” The parts we don’t see in those super-mom personas? Exhaustion, burn-out, stress-induced illness and an endless list of reasons you may not want to be that person everyone else admires.

3. I am not my work.

Whether I’m climbing the corporate ladder or bunk-bed ladder, I am not defined by my accomplishments. We have bought the lie that says we are only as good as how much we can get done–on a daily basis, and on the grand scale. Life is about relationship, not achievement.

4. I am not my behavior.

I don’t love my child based on her behavior; I love her because she is mine. Is our Heavenly Father any different? Thankfully He doesn’t have to walk away and count to ten when I blow it with my kids.  He loves me because I am His.

5. I am a well-loved daughter of the King.

I am a Princess! When I fully internalize this, I will start behaving as such. Behavior springs from identity. I am a new person in Christ. This is the gospel. This is what is making me the mom I need to be.

(Top image credit: www.ayellowbrickblog.com)