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    When People Make You Want to Quit

    October 29, 2013

    image“This is too hard. I want to quit.” Those were the words I said to Dave last night.

    Even as it left my lips, I knew I didn’t mean it. I knew I was being tested (Isn’t it always a test?). Still, I felt everything and soaked for a while in it. A good me-bath of self pity.

    This morning, there are a few things I know about life:

    Feelings follow faith. I choose to forgive.

    Tomorrow will be better.

    I am loved. I can risk loving you (that’s a song).

    I don’t want to take that risk again. I really don’t. I want to bury my Self away where it’s safe.

    But if I do, who will be there to tell you it’s okay to keep going? To get back up and keep walking in fearless love?

    There is no fear in love (that’s a verse).

    Fear is so much easier. Fear says, “Never again.” “Please go away.”

    But faith. Faith says, “I will” with a big, fat period at the end.

    Because He already has done it. Already loved. Already borne. Suffered. Carried. Bent low. To-the-grave, low. Already risen above it all.

    So I will. I will let Him carry me where He’s already been, and close my eyes and keep reaching, holding, bearing. Knowing I will wake up on the other side of this, surprised by Love.

    He always makes everything new.

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